Recently, I learned a painful lesson about priorities — or the lack of them.
I was at the gym with my 14-year-old daughter, cheering her on as she attempted to jump onto a 30-inch block. She was nervous and asked me to stand right there to catch her. I kept my phone within reach — a terrible habit. She tried and missed a few times, but was safe. On her fourth try, my phone rang. A work call from one of my managers. Without thinking, I answered. At that moment, she fell.
Thankfully she wasn’t badly hurt, but she hyperextended her knee and had volleyball practice the next day. I still feel the guilt. I was there, but I wasn’t present — and that’s what mattered. Being physically present isn’t enough; we have to be emotionally present too.
This drove home a lesson about the power of ‘no.’ In our culture, especially among Africans, we’re raised to show up and never say no to family and friends. But saying yes to everything isn’t sustainable — it dilutes our presence and exhausts us. Saying ‘no’ isn’t rejection; it’s choosing what is truly important. Sometimes ‘no’ to others is the most powerful ‘yes’ you give yourself and your loved ones.