My harsh reality wake-up call to balancing work and family
Recently, I learned a painful lesson about priorities or better still lack of priorities.
I was at the gym with my 14 year old daughter, cheering her on as she attempted to jump onto a 30 inches high block.
When I encouraged her to jump on it, she initially was not ready to do it.
Granted my daughter is athletic and plays volleyball and basketball.
After some encouragement she agreed to take on the challenge, she was still nervous and asked me to be right there to catch her in case she fell.
I kept my phone within reach, just a terrible habit and excuse of lack of prioritization.
She tried and missed a few times but was safe.
However, on her fourth try, my phone rang.
It was a work call from one of my managers.
Without thinking, I answered.
At that moment, she fell.
Thankfully, she wasn’t badly hurt but she hyperextended her left knee and had volleyball practice the following day.
I still feel the guilt today.
I was there, but I wasn’t present.
And that’s what mattered.
It was a stark reminder of what it really means to be there for someone—being physically present isn’t enough.
We must be emotionally present, too.
This incident drove home a crucial lesson about the power of ‘no.’
In our culture, especially among Africans, we’re raised to show up and never say no to family and friends.
It’s seen as a measure of our love and commitment.
But here’s the reality: saying yes to everything isn’t sustainable.
It dilutes our presence, spreads us too thin, and exhausts us.
We miss out on truly engaging with the moments that matter most.
Saying ‘no’ isn’t about rejecting something.
It’s about embracing what is truly important.
It’s about choosing quality over quantity, presence over pretense.
It’s okay to prioritize and choose where and how we spend our time.
Remember, saying ‘no’ to others can be the most powerful ‘yes’ you give yourself and your loved ones.